Questions....and a post for a special someone!!

Alrighty....here are some questions that i was wondering....fill it out plz, then put it on ur site and see what people say about you!

Who are you?

Are we friends?

How long have we known each other?

Am i....

Nice:

Sweet:

Caring:

Lovable:

Cute:

Mean:

Rude:

Annoying:

Self-centered:

Would you....

Hug me:

Be there for me:

Lie to me to make me feel better:

Hurt me:

Date me:

Kiss me:

Run away with me:

Go out of ur way for me:

What is...

My best quality:

Best feature:

Worst feature:

One word to describe me:

Fave memory of u and i:

Something about me that sticks out (in my personality...looks...ect.):

Thanks!!!

Alrighty....well....my last post wasnt a happy one! But i am going to do a better one this time....i hope!

Its for one person mainly...i wonder who...

Well all i can think about is this one person. Whenever i need a BIG time smile i just think of my fave memories of being with them and all my doubts and fears go away. Cuz for one i know they are in my life, and they know i love them with all my heart! I have been out Christmas shopping for them, and all i want to do is get the best present EVER for them. I want to show them how much they mean to me! But i know my action speak louder then words and i havent seen them in 4-EVER and i miss them GREATLY! I just want to hug them and NEVER have to let go. I got a pic yesterday from my Grandma that she had taken of the 2 of us. I remember how happy i was in the picture, and couldnt help but cry. I cryed on single tear...no one noticed, but i felt the tear in my heart. How much i just want to be with them, be next to them. I am sooo devoted to them, i know some ppl have noticed it. My fave poem is title "My Angel" I read it today....then started to cry more....knowing who wrote it, and meant it....and i can hear their voice in my head telling me that as they walked in my room and saw it on the wall, then read me the poem and said, "I meant it all...and always will"....havent talked to them really well hardly the past few days other then the one lil comments on facebook back and forth. I know they are busy, but i hope they are not to busy for me. My Mom also talked to my g-ma today, things went well....she feels better about the whole thing. And i am going to go to San Antonio more then likely, but i know someone else cant go with me, even though that is for the lamest reasons....i might still not goi dunno....im really upset about it all, and i only wanna talk to one person about it well completely only tell one person about it. That is my best friend who i would trust and look up too and admire greatly who is extremly smart and knows the right thing to do. I have been talking my best friend all along, my best friend is one person who i love deeply and would give my life for if something happened! And the person is Ryan Daniel Cochran. He is my best friend, and i wouldnt want it any other way. He is the sweetest guy ever, a wonderful boyfriend. Even though he has been busy right now, i hope if anything crazy has gone on that we can work through them. I know we can. Ryan, thanks so much for coming into my life. I have missed u soo much these past few days. I hope u got my message last night. I LOVE you with all heart and always will....ur my everything, and i would do anything for u! I hope we can have a good talk soon, i am sorry i didnt come down yesterday, i wanted to soooo BAD! But it just didnt work out that way. And im sorry. I hope u get to talk to me about whatever it is u needed to talk to me about. But yes i love u Ryan, and that will NEVER change....my post is deicated to you! I Love you, and just want to hold u close and NEVER let go!

Ryan's poem...that everytime i read i cant help but SMILE...

My Angel

My angel has a heart so precious,

and sometimes her hair shines of gold.

She is full of love and kindness,

She makes me life meaningful and bold.

My angel is so smart,

always showing me the way.

Without her I'd be lost,

I know she'll never lead me astray.

My angel is beautiful,

She is so special and the only thing i can do

is love her,

for my angel is you....

-Ryan Cochran

he wrote that for me and sent it to me after he asked me out! I always like to read it over and it can kinda feel like he is here with me....

So yeah....without Ryan i would be lost. I have never been so happy....until he came into me life...

Yeah MUSSY post, but i just wanted to tell the world, well try to tell the world how much he means to me!!! And its more then he will EVER know!

Just am tired and stress...and this is a sad entry so only read if u wanted, just letting u know now what u might be reading soon....

Its almost Sunday....i wanna be in bed right now but i am NOT! BLAH!! I dont know what all i am wanting to say, but i am getting frustrated. It might just be my emotions but MAN, i am getting depressed here lately and i am not wanting to feel like this. NOT AT ALL! I should'nt be its Christmas time, but i have Finals, and there is some Sh** going on with my mom's side of the family thats causing me stress, and i am wanting to make EVERYONE happy, but i dont see how i can do that when i myself am not happy! NOT AT ALL!!!!!!!!!! There are people in my life and things in my life that can make me happy, but right now...i just feel...alone and all by myself, those people that i know can help me are far away and cant hear my crys for help. I just want to be happy like i am normally...and right now it feels IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!! I might go down and see Ryan tomorrow, but i dunno, i havent been able to get a hold of him and if i dont tonight then i am not going to. I wanna be back b4 it got late, and it would be my 1st time to go down there by myself, and i havent driven that far before and im not 100% confindent, and i dont wanna drive down there and not be able to get ahold of him, like i havent today, then not be able to and just drive back home. Just wanting to see him, but thinking im not going to be able too...yeah not fun. I keep noticing lil things that are making me sad....i dont like being SAD, its never fun!

did u notice i used the words "I dunno" ALOT???....b/c thats what i feel like....i dont know!

Can anyone answer the question to me why life is sooo HARD??? Why is it so changllening? Why do we have to get upset...so many WHY questions going through my head....its making it hurt. Or is it just i feel alone right now, and all i want to do it Cry???

I think i might be over looking at things, but i feel like sometimes i can be the problem for other problems and i know i can be sometimes.....but i feel like i keep doing it OVER AND OVER again, but if i am a problem, or ever was, then im sorry.

I dont know what more to say, just ready for break, and some happy times to come up soon....right now there are so many things tied onto to things to make me happy its making me sick. There are hard things to do b4 i get to the good things, and it SUCKS!!!

Well thats what all is going through my head, thanks if u read about it. I dont mean to sound so BLAH and depress, but its hard not to when thats all i feel. I mean yes there are things in my life that i am happy about but others there arent. And there are people out there that i know are trying to make it worst and if u are reading this and are one of these people! umm.....ok wont say what i am thinking cuz its not pretty, but just STOP! I dont need this BS in my life, or anyone else!!!!!!!

Had to end with something that made me....

SMILE!!!

lost 5 more pounds!!!!

YAY.....

Today i got to hang out with my brother JAMES! We went to workout and then to Mimis Cafe! GREAT FUN!!! I Love You JAMES, wish we could hang out more often!!!

Today its ICY its like 18 degrees outside! BUTT COLD!! Tomorrow i only have class in Arobics, my Sociology class got cancelled. Along with church tonight. Cait and i were actually gonna go tonight too...and the one class i wanted to skip was history...but NOOO! GRR...oh well, hopefully the roads will b better by then.

snow flakes are.... FALLING   

ok...will u leave me a comment telling me the sweetest thing i have EVER done for you! And y u think its the sweetest thing??

Ok well i have hmm.... basically 4 days left of classes....

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, then NEXT Tuesday, LAST day of Fall 2005 semester!!!

I just got back from taking my math test...im not to sure how i did on it....*sigh and crosses fingers* But this was actually the last real day of Math, b/c the next time i go to class i have my final, so yeah...that will mean i will be done with MATH! WOOT! Excitingness, hehe....

EXAM Sechdule....

Wednesday December 7th

-Math at 8am

Tuesday December 13th

-Sociology at 10am

-History at 8pm

But....the more fun stuff....my Sechdule for next SPRING....

Monday/Wednesday/Friday

Goverment- 9:05-10

PE- 10:10- 11:05

Spanish- 11:15- 12:35 (only Monday and Wednesday)

Tuesday/ Thursday

Psyc.- 8am- 9:20

Hist.- 9:30-10:50

English- 11-12:20

And...im adding another workout class, ASAP....been to busy to that yet, but yeah! ONE BUSY SEMESTER!!! But that is 17 hours right there....AHH....God Bless with me with that load!! WOW, that looks like alot now that i think about it. I bet ill be ok, ill just need to focus more then i am now. I can do it!!! Just gotta tell myself that!!!

The semester is almost OVER!!! Then ill be sooooooooo HAPPY!!! Like 4 school days left for me! SOO EXCITING!!

Hugs and Love,

Chele

God Bless ALL...

And bundle up this week it might snow on WEDNESDAY!!!

Hmm...what am i up to this weekend.....???

Today going shopping with my mom then i have a bb-sitting job at 6pm. YAY, right?? Not really, the lil boys can be a REAL handful and hard to control. I just hope things go well tonight.

Yesterday i got to hang out with James my brother, we went to Chilis and had one of ourb friends we know there wait on us. He is cool, his name is Mark, i used to work with him when i was at Mimi's Cafe.

Tomorrow i am going to work on my homework i have to do...i have essays and stuff...hopefully i can get them out of the way. Right now i am sooo tired i know that i couldnt do anything cuz i didnt sleep well at all. I had a nightmare, it wasnt fun either since i woke up crying i migh put it on here tomorrow...maybe, we will see what all goes on today.

But yeah, xanga not very long this time. Off to shop with my Mom and get my Christmas shopping done with. Just hope i dont fall asleep...

-Michele